The reason for my absence, albeit it sounds a tad dramatic, is that for the past couple of months, I could not stand to think nor write about running. It pains me. It’s been several months since I stopped pounding the pavement and it gives me a heavy heart whenever I see someone on the road doing just that.
Since my Merrell training when I noticed my back pain worsening, I stopped running. The desire is there, but the body just would not let go. I kept hoping to wake up someday to find the pain gone, but everyday when I open my eyes, the first thing I notice is the pain. Despite my abstinence from running, it never did go away.
So I decided to face it once and for all. Face the pain and actively seek treatment. I cannot continue denying this condition, since it is stopping me from doing what I love.
I am starting conservative treatments first–acupuncture and deep tissue massage. Hot water compress every night. Back strengthening exercises whenever I can. Yoga/pilates twice a week.
If all else fails, I would have to save up for an MRI, since the orthopedist I had consulted months ago could not arrive at a diagnosis. Then maybe physical therapy.
I foresee months of rehabilitation. Looking at the schedule of runs in the Philippines, I could only regret that I did not seek treatment sooner, and feel envious of the people who are free to pursue their love of running.
But then I take heart in the fact that next year, around this time, I may be back in the starting line again, ready to race with others, and most importantly, to race against myself.